Here's a little bit I read from Josh Swiller's writing "Wall of Sound" in the New York Times- (Swiller is Deaf who has a Cochlear Implant)
I read this following Passage and thought "EXACTLY IT" it explains what it's like to rely on lip reading and still only understanding 70% of conversations (without lip-reading I currently understand no more than 35% of words read to me in isolation- a 1:1 setting WITH lip-reading I bet I'm about 50-70% depending on the situation)

"What's 70 percent like? It's hard work. It's always hearing the laughter but rarely catching the joke. One-on-one you can hear pretty well, but big gatherings -- high school parties, say -- are just noise falling on top of noise, like ocean waves in a storm. So you develop techniques to feign understanding, limit embarrassment and somehow stay afloat -- the smile-and-nod, the thoughtful lip purse, the "Oh, I have to talk to that guy; great to see you, though." (I didn't learn until years later that this is how everyone, hearing or not, gets through high school.)"

it's finally put into words for me. *sigh*

to do list update

_XX_ Buy a house
____ Plan a wedding
____ Move out of my parents house
____ Get checked out for a CI (evaluated)
____ start a new summer job
____ freak out over extracurriculars at work
____ end the school year on a positive note

One thing done! *WHEW*

uh oh!

I just got a "huge" bill for going to the audiologist- my insurance I'm sure will reimburse but still... boo bills!

Also, I struggled a bit today- we had meetings this afternoon and there were only about 6 of us there but it was pretty difficult to follow the conversation back and forth- very exhausting. I consider today a "bad hearing day" but I think I'll have more of those from now on as ANY little fluctuation in my hearing (fluid or just a head cold) will be more obvious with my already sensitive hearing.

oh well. Josh and I close on our house tomorrow so optimism will need to remain key! Something I have to tell myself OUTLOUD "Stay positive." Then I listen to Sugarland- "it happens" is my theme song right now. RANDOM.

Learned something

I learned that after having Meningitis (Which I had) can cause "ossification of the cochlea" (hardening of the cochlea) which would make a CI not work well.

But I also read today, that it typically "ossifies" (?) shortly after diagnoses... SO what I"m wondering is if it could START to harden at that time, and slowly continually harden to the point I am at now... which is more deaf...

Learn something new (and disheartening) everyday.

Also, I joined a chatroom for Cochlear Implant users and stuff- hence how I learned this... pretty sweet.

Checklist

Nothing to do REALLY with the CI but here goes...

____ Buy a house
____ Plan a wedding
____ Move out of my parents house
____ Get checked out for a CI (evaluated)
____ start a new summer job
____ freak out over extracurriculars at work
____ end the school year on a positive note

This is my "To Do" list- just about everything on here is STARTED just need to finish ALL of these in the next couple weeks- can you say... STRESS?

#2

Feel free to bookmark me and stalk me all you want- this will be a "no holds barred" (is that even the correct saying?)

Number 1

I'm just testing out the page- ignore this blog :)